


The mighty slayer

by DarkValkyrie



Category: Fantasy - Fandom, Original Work, Terry Pratchett - Fandom
Genre: Battle, Coincidences, Dragons, Massacre, Slice of Life, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:39:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21789328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkValkyrie/pseuds/DarkValkyrie
Summary: Being a sheep farmer, Wallace didn't expect that one day he will be the bravest, mightiest and fearless slayer in the whole kingdom.Hurrah!!! For Wallace the brave and mighty slayer!!!
Comments: 1





	The mighty slayer

**Author's Note:**

> I got the inspiration for the story from one character, from books of my favorite author. I won't say which one so no spoilers. Just read the story, there is a short explanation at the end.  
> I didn't use any movies or series for inspiration, all I did is sit in front of my laptop and start to write, the story is my original work.  
> This is just the result of my weird imagination and brain thinking about what that character would do and telling me what to write. I hope you like it :)
> 
> It’s still just a story, like all of my other stores. It doesn’t have a deeper spiritual, moral or ethical meaning.

It was a peaceful morning. One of those mornings, even the rosters were sleeping in late. Wallace just got up and thought that this will be a good day. His father already fed all the animals, he just needed to do his favorite chore, take the sheep to the pasture to stretch their legs.

Wallace got dressed, came down to the kitchen, took something he could eat on his way to the pasture and left towards the sheep pen. He called Stella, the sheepdog, to help him with getting the sheep out of the pen and towards the pasture. Stella was a good sheepdog, she was very obedient and smart. Wallace sometimes felt she was even smarter than he was. Together they rounded up the sheep and directed them towards the pasture. 

On the way to the pasture, a small group of bandits jumped out from the bushes. 

“Give us yer money!” One of the bandits said.

“I don’t… I don’t have money. I’m just… I’m just taking the sheep to the pasture.” Wallace said with fear in his voice.

“Then give us what yer got!” The same bandit shouted at him.

“I don’t have… I don’t have anything.” Wallace said turning his pockets inside out, panicking. The sandwich he took from the kitchen fell on the floor next to him. The bandit, not seeing clearly, what it was, started walking towards Wallace.

Wallace panicked bent down to pick up and show the bandit that what fell from his pocket was just a sandwich. He accidentally picked up a rock and as he stood up, to show the bandit that the sandwich wasn’t worth anything, the rock flew out of his hand hitting a big rock on the wall next to the road, above the bandit. The big rock fell down on the bandit, killing him instantly and pulling a few more rocks with it, killing the other bandits.

Wallace just stood in the middle of the road, the sandwich still next to his feet, not believing what just happened. People who lived near, saw what Wallace did, came rushing towards him cheering his bravery. Shaking his hand and happily throwing him in the air, thanking him for saving them from the bandits who were giving them trouble for months.

From that day on, in his village Wallace was known as Wallace the bandit slayer.

People in the village started looking and behaving differently towards Wallace. He didn’t like that, he was just a farmer's son, not a bandit slayer. Nobody believed him that it was all an accident, they all thought that he was just being modest. He decided to ignore their behavior. Everything that happened in the village was interesting for a time and as quickly as it got interesting, it was forgotten.

One evening Wallace was in the village tavern with his friend Harold. They were drinking beer and having a few laughs on account of the mighty Wallace the bandit slayer when a knight in black armor walked in. 

Everyone in the tavern got really quiet because everyone knew who the black knights were and what they were capable of. The Malum kingdom, the southern kingdom was ruled by the evil king Lues the fourth. Their only goal was to expand the kingdom by any means necessary and that meant conquering any town, village or kingdom by brute force. The black knights were a group of elite knights that could single-handedly kill a hundred people in a fight. 

Nobody in the tavern was staring at the black knight, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t looking at him. Everyone was just hoping that he was passing through. Wallace couldn’t help himself and looked at the black knight. The knight looked back at him with a pretentious look on his face and Wallace quickly looked away. The knight stood up and walked over to the table where Wallace was sitting.

“You have a problem with me farm boy?” The knight said with a pretentious voice.

“No… No, sir. I don’t.” Wallace said with fear in his.

“Then why were you staring at me you sheep?” The knight said, wanting to insult Wallace in front of everybody.

“I… I just... I just like your armor, sir.” Wallace said softly.

“Did I hear you right? You want my armor?!” The black knight shouted as if he was in shock that a petty farm boy dared to challenge him. 

“Then come! Take it from me if you think you can!” The knight shouted with anger in his voice, not believing that a farmer would have the nerve to look at him, let alone challenge him. He grabbed Wallace by his upper arm and dragged him outside the tavern.

“No! I… I just… I didn’t...” While the knight was dragging him, Wallace tried to explain that the knight heard him wrong.

Outside the tavern, the knight shouted at Wallace. “Are you a coward, trying to talk your way out of a fight you started? Fight you coward!”

Wallace looked back at the tavern, everyone who was in the tavern was now standing at the door and the windows looking at them, nobody was coming out to help him. He looked around looking for anything that he could use as a weapon, it wouldn’t make any difference because he couldn’t fight, but it would at least look like he tried.

“I see you have no weapon. Let’s make this a fair fight.” The knight said and threw a dagger towards him.

As Wallace picked up the dagger, the knight took out the biggest sword Wallace has ever seen. ‘ _I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die..._ ’ The thought repeated inside Wallace’s head.

The knight took a position to fight, ready to attack, he ran towards Wallace with his sword raised in the air. Wallace put the dagger in front of his face and started moving back towards the tavern. The knight's sword hit the dagger with so much force that Wallace’s whole hand went numb. Wallace dogged the knight’s next attack, moving towards the tavern even more. Wallace tried to attack the knight with the dagger, but it just bounced off the black armor, making the black knight lough.

“Let’s end this, shall we?” The knight said with a smirk on his face.

He grabbed Wallace by the neck and slammed him against the tavern’s wall. “What made an insect like you think you can fight me?” The knight said with anger in his voice and slammed Wallace again against the wall of the tavern. As he slammed Wallace against the wall, the metal rod holding the tavern sign started to get loose.

“Let this be a lesson to all of you who dare to be so arrogant to think you are better than the black knights!” He slammed Wallace again against the wall of the tavern and the metal rod shook, now barely holding onto the wall.

“Let this insects fate be a warning to all of you!” The knight shouted, slamming Wallace again against the wall and he raised his sword in the air with the intention of killing him. The metal pole holding the tavern sign got loose and started to fall down. The spike at the end of the metal rod stabbed the knight into the top of his head. The black knight fell to the floor dead.

From that day on, in his village Wallace was known as Wallace the black knight slayer.

Many stories about his battle with the black knight were circling around the village, none of them true and again nobody believed Wallace that it was all just an accident. Even his own family didn’t believe him, they were even proud of him, of their youngest son the black knight slayer. 

Wallace needed to get away from it all for a while so he took the sheep to the pasture. At least he was alone there; there were no people that looked at him as if he was a miracle incarnated. As the sun started to go down he and Stella rounded up the sheep and headed home. 

At the farm, Wallace and Stella got the sheep in the pen and Wallace went to the house to get something to eat. ‘ _A normal day for a change._ ’ Wallace thought to himself, ate and went to sleep.

In the middle of the night, the loud bleating of sheep awakened Wallace. He put on his pants, ran out of his room and down the stairs. He saw his father and mother rushing out of the house so he followed them. Outside he saw a thunderstorm in the sky and a few of their neighbors, whose animals were also restless. There was a short flash of light high up in the sky. It repeated a few times and then a loud roar followed.

“Oh no. A dragon!” His father yelled. “Get the animals under shelter! Hurry! There’s a dragon in the sky!” He shouted. He told Wallace’s sisters to go warn the neighbors, and Wallace and his older brothers to take care of the animals.

Wallace took care of the sheep, got them inside the barn and walked out to see the dragon. He never saw one, he heard many stories about them, but he always wanted to see one in real life. He looked up in the sky, but he couldn’t see the dragon because of the thunderstorm clouds.

“Are you crazy son? Get inside or the dragon will get you!” His father shouted at him but it was too late. The dragon landed a few feet away from Wallace. It was a magnificent creature, big as a house, wings larger than the sails of a ship, scales black and smooth and horns on his head and neck impressive and big as spears. 

The dragon wasn’t looking at Wallace, it was looking for the animals, for food. But as the animals were all safe inside, the dragon saw the only thing still outside in the open, he saw Wallace. The dragon started to move towards Wallace and Wallace’s father started shouting at Wallace to run and hide. 

Seeing the dragon move towards him, Wallace started to run across the field. It didn’t even occur to him that a house or a barn would be a safer place to run to. He ran as fast as he could across the field, reached the high fence surrounding their farm, it had metal columns and a wooden fence and crawled under it. As he crawled under it, the dragon tried to catch him with his mouth and in the process, the dragon stabbed his left eye with one of the metal columns. 

Wallace continued to run as fast as he could, feeling the earth beneath him shake under the weight of the dragon running behind him, the now raging thunderstorm drowning out the dragons growls and roars of anger and pain from the metal rod sticking out of his left eye. Thinking he could hide in the water, Wallace ran towards the lake, the dragon followed him. Wallace tried to jump into the lake to dive underwater and hide there, but the dragon jumped first and being bigger and stronger, jumped over Wallace and landed in the lake first. As the dragon landed in the lake, a lightning bolt struck the metal rod sticking out of his left eye, frying his brain. The dragon fell down into the lake dead.

From that day on, in his village Wallace was known as Wallace the dragon slayer.

Many stories about his battle with the dragon were circling around the village, none of them true. ‘ _Not again._ ’ Wallace thought to himself. This time Wallace didn’t even try to explain that it was all an accident. For several days, he didn’t leave his house because every time he went to the village people cheered and just made a spectacle of how brave and strong he is. Even the travelers and merchants just passing through the village knew his name. 

After a few weeks, Wallace went to the village, to have a drink at the tavern in the middle of the village. When he got there, he saw a statue of himself with the words _Wallace the dragon slayer_ engraved at the bottom of the statue. Wallace looked at the statue with a blank stare, turned around and walked home. ’ _This whole village is crazy._ ’ He thought to himself.

On his way home, somebody jumped out of the bushes behind him and hit him on the head and he lost consciousness. Wallace woke up in a grating carriage, surrounded by other people, some of them still unconscious. There was one driver in front, six knights on horses and a few soldiers following the carriage. ‘ _I think I just got kidnapped. My head is killing me. What did they hit me with? A stone wall?_ ’ Wallace thought as he massaged the part of his head that hurt like hell. 

After a while, Wallace saw a massive campsite in the distance. It looked like an army campsite. He looked at the knights following the carriage more closely trying to see the coat of arms on their armor, it looked like the coat of arms from the east kingdom, the Orientem kingdom. He knew that the east and the west kingdom were at war and that his village was on the edge of the west kingdom, the Occidens kingdom. But he didn’t know there would be a battle so close to his village. He had to warn his family somehow. 

‘ _How can I warn them when I’m a prisoner?_ ’ Wallace thought and tried to come up with a plan. Coming up with plans wasn’t one of his best personality traits.

At the campsite, the soldiers forcibly pulled the people out of the carriage and put on shackles and chains on them. They split up the people from the carriage and took them in different directions. A soldier took Wallace and a woman to a tent that looked like a makeshift tavern where the soldiers came to eat and drink. The soldier chained them to the floor, in what looked like an improvised kitchen and left. “Guess we are the cooks now. I’m Wallace. What's your name?” Wallace asked the woman.

The woman just crouched, hugged her knees and cried.

“Ok… Nice to meet you.” Wallace said nervously.

A big fat man walked into the kitchen and said. “They brought only two. How do they expect me to make a feast with only two? What am I, a wizard?!” He shouted.

The fat man looked at the crying woman, picked her up by the shoulders and started hitting her. “Stop that! We have a lot of work to do!” He shouted at her, but she just cried even more. He threw her on the floor. “Wilfred! Come here!” He yelled.

A soldier came inside the kitchen. “What?” He asked.

“Get this one away from here and bring me a few new ones. I have no use for this one.” The fat man said.

The soldier unchained the woman and said. “We have none to spare. All the others are preparing the weapons, armor, horses, catapults and other things for the battle tomorrow.”

“But I need more to prepare the feast for tonight. You know the general, the feast before the battle must be flawless. How can I do it with only one? If there are none of them to spare, bring me soldiers to help!” There was anger building up in the fat man's voice.

“I'll see what I can do.” The soldier said and left with the woman.

“I guess you will have to do work for two now. The soldiers will be here soon with food that they gathered from the forest and the fields and meat from the hunt.” The fat man said and five soldiers entered the kitchen to help with preparing the feast. “It is my job to prepare a flawless feast for all the soldiers for tonight because for many of them it will be their last meal. If I find you slacking off, I'll whip you until I see the bones on your back. Do you understand me?” The fat man said with a serious and angry look on his face.

“Yes.” Wallace didn’t want to anger the fat man, he looked angry enough already. He also didn’t want to tell the fat man that he didn’t know how to cook. He decided that he’d pretend he knew what he was doing and wait for the soldiers to fall asleep and then try to escape and run home to warn his family.

The soldiers returned from the food gathering and the hunt, bringing different vegetables, fruits and animals. The fat man ordered Wallace to dice up the vegetables and two soldiers to light the fire for the meat, while the fat man and the other soldier’s butchered animals, preparing the meat to roast it on a spit. 

It looked like the soldiers gathered mushrooms from the forest and stole vegetables, like carrots, tomatoes, onions, cabbage and some herbs from farms, but some of the onions looked a bit strange to him. Wallace knew that one type of onion was poisonous. It looked exactly like a normal onion, the only difference was in the leaves and a slight difference in the shade of color. The normal onion had smooth leaves while the poison one had small white hairs on the edges of its leaves and a lighter shade. While the soldiers gathered the vegetables, they removed the leaves and in this tent, under this light, it was difficult to see what shade of color the onions were.

Either way Wallace didn’t care. He started to dice all the vegetables and mushrooms, while the fat man and the soldiers prepared and put the meat to roast on a spit. When he was done, the fat man gave him further instructions and he spent all day preparing the evening feast.

The night finally came and Wallace sat on the floor exhausted. All the soldiers gathered and sat at the tables in front of the camps improvised tavern. The fat man yelled at Wallace. “Get on your feet and start serving portions, so that others can take them to the soldiers, you lazy bastard!”

Wallace stood up, looked at the fat man with a blank stare, wanting to punch him so badly, but started putting food on plates. He put the same portion on each plate, a few pieces of meat, vegetable mushroom side dish and a portion of fruit. The bread, beer and mead were already on the tables. Other prisoners, like him, carried the portions to the tables. When every soldier had a portion in front of them, Wallace and the fat man prepared large plates of meat and bowls of vegetable mushroom side dish that was left, the other prisoners cried the large plates and bowls to each table so that the soldiers can refill their plates.

Before the feast began, the general gave a speech on how the soldiers should fill their bellies and get a good night's rest before they ride into battle tomorrow. Wallace was sitting on the floor in the kitchen listening to the general babble on about glory, victory, death for your kingdom and loyalty to your king, eating a piece of meat and bread. Still not trusting those onions, Wallace kept far away from the vegetable side dish.

The feast ended and the general and the soldiers left toward their tents to go to sleep. Only the night watch was left to guard the campsite. Wallace tried to break the chain that was keeping him in the kitchen. It was a thick and sturdy chain, nothing he did caused any damage to it. He tried using everything he could get his hands on in the kitchen to unchain himself, but the chain just wouldn’t budge. Still exhausted from all the work today he decided to rest until morning, when the soldiers leave for battle and when he will have more strength and maybe a plan to escape. Wallace lay down on the floor and fell asleep.

When Wallace woke, it was already bright outside and it was quiet, disturbingly quiet. ‘ _Did the army leave already? How didn’t I hear them? So many people moving would make a lot of noise._ ’ He thought to himself and tried to look outside but the chain was too short. He took a knife, made a hole in one side of the tent and he pushed his head through the hole. He looked around the campsite but couldn’t see anybody. ‘ _So they really left without me noticing. I must have been exhausted as hell._ ’ He got back to solving the chain problem. He thought that if he chain wouldn’t break maybe the part on the floor that he was chained to would. The chain was attached to a metal plate fixed to a wooden board 

Wallace took the meat hammer and tried breaking the wooden board with it. The wood started cracking slowly. ‘ _Yes! This could work._ ’ Wallace thought to himself happy that finally something was going the way he wanted. He continued to hit the wooden board, feeling happy with every cracking noise he heard.

So focused on breaking the wooden board, Wallace almost missed the sounds of horses and people entering the campsite. As soon as he heard the horses and people talking he hid behind the improvised bar, peeking out to see if the army was already back or if bandits came to steal things when nobody is around. To his surprise it was neither the army nor the bandits, the general, the knights and the soldiers entering the campsite were wearing the coat of arms of the Occidens kingdom, the west kingdom, his kingdom. 

‘ _Why are they here? Did they beat the east army? If they did, did they come to rescue the prisoners?_ ’ This whole situation was strange Wallace thought. He didn’t know what to do and then he saw a woman running towards the general and the knights shouting. “It’s a miracle. It’s a miracle. The whole army is dead.” She threw herself on her knees, on the floor, in front of the general. “Thank the heavens.”

‘ _Oh no… The onions… I knew it!_ ’ Wallace thought.

The general ordered his soldiers to go look in the tenths at the soldiers and report back. After the soldiers reported, back Wallace saw the general unmount his horse and walk over to the improvised tavern. Wallace stood up and, seeing a general for the first time in his life, not knowing what to do, he just stood frozen looking at the general like he was a god.

“Son, my soldiers told me that the general and his soldiers all have white foam coming out of their mouths and that they probably died of poisoning. This place looks like a place the soldiers gather to eat and drink. Am I right?” The general asked.

“Yes, sir!” Wallace answered as one of the soldiers would.

“Would you by any chance know what happened and how did the men get poisoned?” The general asked.

“Yes, sir!” Wallace answered.

“Well? I’m waiting.” The general said.

“Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! They kidnapped me and put me here in the kitchen to help with preparing the feast before the battle. The soldiers brought the supplies for the feast and some onions seemed strange to me, they looked like the poisonous ones but I put them in the food anyway. I think it was the onions that poisoned them, sir!” Wallace said.

“You killed an army of three thousand and a half men with onions?” The general said in disbelief. “Do you know what you just did?” He asked Wallace with a cryptic look on his face.

“Except for poisoning people no. No, I don’t, sir!” Wallace said with a nervous voice thinking he did something wrong. The look on the general’s face was troubling him.

“You know that we have been at war with the east kingdom for decades now. Both kingdoms lost many good men in battles during those years and the kings decided to end the war with one final battle. The battle that will decide the winner of the war. That battle was supposed to happen today.” The general said and sighted. “When we arrived at the agreed battlefield location this morning, we waited for our opponents, but nobody came. We waited and waited and still, no one came. We sent a scout to look for their campsite and he reported that it was empty.” 

The general looked around and then looked at Wallace again. “To my surprise, the campsite is not empty, it’s defeated. We won the war. You won the war.” The general had a serious look on his face, he scratched his forehead and then he sighted. “You won the war with onions.”

He ordered his men to free all the prisoners and he said to Wallace that he is coming with them to the capital city to see the king. Wallace asked the general to send one soldier to his home to tell his family that he is all right because he was missing for days now and they were probably worried sick. The general did as Wallace asked and they headed to the capital city to see the king.

At the capital city, Wallace stood in front of the king, seeing a king for the first time in his life, not knowing what to do, he just stood frozen as the general explained that the war was over and that Wallace was the one who won the war. The king walked over towards Wallace, looking him from head to toe with a skeptical look on his face. “Aren’t you Wallace the dragon slayer?” The king asked.

“Yes.” Wallace said. ‘ _Oh no… How does the king know?_ ’ Wallace thought.

The king turned towards the general and said. “This is wonderful news. Wallace the dragon slayer defeated the whole army and won the war. We must celebrate at once!”

A celebration, the biggest one in the past few decades, was held in the capital city as the king proclaimed. “The war with the east kingdom is over! We won!” The sea of people cheered. The king picked up a gold medal, turned towards Wallace and said. “We owe our victory to the bravery of the mighty Wallace the dragon slayer who will, from this day on, be known as Wallace the army slayer!” The sea of people cheered even more.

‘ _Not again..._ ’ Wallace thought as the king put the gold medal around his neck.

\-----------------

“Come on sister. The bandits and the knight I can give you, but the dragon and this! These two were one in a billion chance, not one in a million. You are cheating and I’ll prove it.” Fate said.

“Sister Fate, you are just jealous, those two were exactly a one in a million chance or they wouldn't happen.” Fate’s sister said with a smug smile on her face.

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration for the story is the goddess of One in a million, from the Terry Pratchett books, that is very interested in Rincewind. Terry Pratchett is my favorite author and I'm really sad that he is gone. I thought about one of his books one day and remembered the goddess of One in a million.  
> I thought about what things she could do to cheat fate and my story was born. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)  
> Every comment is welcome


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